Calm Mum – Staying Calm After Loss
I stand in her room and watch her breathe.
Bile rises in my throat.
Breathe, baby girl! Breathe!
She has her first fever. I am lying on the floor of her bedroom watching her sleep. My mind is swinmming in chaos. I almost died of a fever and I was older than her. Does this fever mean she could die too? What about SIDS? She isn't vaccinated for measles yet! Could this be the measles?
I am down the wormhole. The anxiety written, panicked loss parent wormhole. I can peer up from the bottom and see light. See the calm Mum I wish I could be. See the calm Mum that does not read the safety instruction on everything. The calm Mum that does not feel it necessary to scoff, touch wood, spin three time and throw salt over my shoulder when a friend innocently says "Oh everything will be fine." I want to be that Mum. I want to be calm but my loss and grief have taught me so much.
I know the pain of burying a child. I know the pain of wishing someone, anyone, could have saved my first born. It taints everything, skews my perception and makes it very difficult to be the calm mum I want to be. I am angry, I cannot sustain this fear. I snap. I am pushed beyond, wishing for a chance to do better tomorrow but not sure how to move beyond and become a calm Mum.
Calm Mum- Staying Calm After Loss is specially designed for parents that have experienced the loss of a child, at any age or stage. Using the Calm Mum principles learn how to identify your past truama and see how they mix with your present day grief. Learn what children need to grow and how to put aside your fear, anxiety, anger and bitterness to be a fully conscious parent.
June 14th 2014, 10 AM
August 14th 2014, 7 PM
October 25th 2014, 10 AM